"Mathematics will get you absolutely nowhere in life."
"I love my A period Algebra I class."
"Alex, just ignore what the music says."
"Bury your face in the music, everyone, and nobody look up at me- I love ostriches!"
"Current events are crap."
"Seriously you guys, we really should get back on-topic."
"Instead of doing work today, let's go to Dunkin Donuts."
"Mr. Morin, will you marry me?"
"LeighAvery, will you marry me?"
"PARKER! Stop causing trouble! I MEAN IT this time!"
SPECIAL BONUS!- LeighAvery
"I don't care what y'all think of me. I'm going off to do my own thing, away from the influences of you crazy older teachers."
"Stop joking around."
"When you're finished with the lab, just leave you're equipment wherever."
"Seriously, let's do that bottle trip thing."
"My classroom is too bizarre. I think I'm going to tone it down a bit."
"I hate poetry. I can never understand it."
"Let's do something different for a change."
"I'm thinking about dying my hair pink."
"No habla espanol."
"I just love the fashions in this Discovering French! video! Sooo stylish!"
SPECIAL BONUS!- M. Hoffman
"Le pingouin est sur la douche."
"I hate Gloire de mon Pere. What is up with that kid lusting over his mother! Yuck. I need a shower. Hey, how many of you can say 'shower' in French?"
Once more, with feeling!
"Everybody, just SHUT UP! I'm sick to DEATH of your wise-ass remarks, your attitudes, and your failing grades! Stop talking while I'm talking! Everybody just SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP!"
"You can swear in my class any time you like."
(anything not in a quiet monotone)
SPECIAL BONUS!- Miss Bavier
"Sorry, I can't understand you. You'll have to speak English."
"Let's watch the Jordy music video again!"
"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to fail you because you're so unathletic."
"You're right, I kind of do favor boys over girls, and I'm sorry."
"Condoms are for the faint of heart."
"I love my EF period Physical Science class."
"Leslie, go down to the office. Now."
"Hey everybody, I just noticed that you're cheating on this test! Put those study sheets away!"
"Girls, stop causing so much trouble. Honestly, why can't you be nice and quiet like the boys?"
"Cutesy names for projects and labs are so childish and annoying."
"Oh come on, it's not that hot in here."
"I love bombs."
"You know, I hate that portfolio project, too."
"Oh, come on, you guys- the Latin America project wasn't that bad."
"Flutes, you were a little flat in that last section, but close enough."
"I'm going to throw out all my History of Jazz DVDs. They're starting to bug me, too."
My friend Rachel and I would do this in 7th/8th grade, and isn't this what an LJ is for, anyway? Random, pointless junk that only I will understand and find amusing? So here we go.
"Just take the attendance sheet straight down to the office. Don't bother to pick up any of the other classes'."
"America is the greatest country on Earth."
"Okay, why is everyone so quiet? Seriously, I'm talking. You should take this time to tune your instruments and practice the songs we're playing. Stop listening to me and play while I'm talking!"
"Call me Patty."
"Altos, just sing the soprano part if you want. I know your part is so ugly- who cares about the harmony? Screw it!"
"You are here to play and have fun. Learning something is a bonus!"
"An atom is really small. You don't need any more description than that."
"Have sex while you're young! And don't bother to use a condom; it's not like they're good for anything, anyway."
"I know I'm married now, but you can still call me Miss Schwerd if you like."
"You know, your sculpture is really ugly."
"I'm breaking up with Brian."
2.) When LJ Autosave sometimes decides to be cute and not work.
3.) Seeing incredibly awesome stories on fanfiction.net that have, like, three reviews, then seeing a piece of shite that has hundreds of "ZOMG THIS ROX LOL MAKE HERMIONE MORE OOC!1!!!1!!" (either that or obvious trolls with people feeding them like crazy. They're trolls. They want flames. Don't give them what they want, just ignore them, and watch how quickly the stop writing when they realize that they don't have an audience anymore. Oy.)
4.) Television shows that get cancelled, and don't get realeased on DVD (I couldn't resist).
5.) People who say, "I could care less!" Saying that implies that you do care. What you really mean is "I couldn't care less."
6.) Odd numbers (unless they're multiples of five, which, obviously, five is, but whatever).