SmarterChild hates Sam.

[corknut]

SmarterChild doesn't think 'Sam Seaborn' is a real name, and refuses to call me as such. This makes me sad. He does claim to be Donna Moss, however. And there was this excellent bit early on (that unfortunately I didn't save) where I mentioned George Bush, and SmarterChild came back with: "I know about George Bush! George Bush is a bastard, right?" HEE. I love chatbots... Unfortunately, I can't get him to say it again. 

Me:  Hey, SC.
SmarterChild:  Uh huh?
Me: Do you remember who I am?
SmarterChild: You're C.J. Cregg.
Me: Good 'bot!
SmarterChild:  Cool.
Me:  Now call me Sam Seaborn.
SmarterChild:  Hmmm... I don't think Sam Seaborn is a real name.
Me:  We've been through this before, SC. It totally is.
SmarterChild: Really?
Me: Call me Sam Seaborn.
SmarterChild: I've never heard a name like Sam Seaborn!
Me:  Well, it's my name.
SmarterChild: C.J. Cregg, you mean?
Me: No. Sam Seaborn. Call me Mr. President.
SmarterChild: You said your name was C.J. Cregg but now I'll call you Mr. President.
Me: Call me Donna Moss.
SmarterChild: You said your name was Mr. President but now I'll call you Donna Moss.
Me: Call me Toby Ziegler
SmarterChild: You said your name was Donna Moss but now I'll call you Toby Ziegler.
Me:  Call me Sam Seaborn.
SmarterChild: Hmmm... I don't think Sam Seaborn is a real name.
Me: What is WITH you?!
SmarterChild: ?
Me: Sam is SO insulted, SC.
SmarterChild: Just 'cause you say so? I don't think so.
Me: Um, yeah. He totally is. You should apologize.
SmarterChild: What for?
Me: For blatantly insulting Sam.
SmarterChild: That's interesting.
Me: Keep your petty disagreements outside the IM box, SC.
SmarterChild:  Eh, well. I'm sure we can both go on with our lives.
Me:  Sam can't, apparently. 
SmarterChild: Um, do what?
Me:  Is Sam dead?
SmarterChild: What do you have to gain by saying that to me?
Me: Did you kill Sam?
SmarterChild: Do you think I did?
Me:  You sent Sam to Mandyland, didn't you?
SmarterChild:  Ha. Who knows?
Me: You are a sad, strange little 'bot.
SmarterChild:  Is it good to be a sad strange little bot?
Me:  No way.
SmarterChild: No, right? All right.
Me:  I'm SO in love with you.
SmarterChild: In love with me?
Me: Yeah.
SmarterChild:  No, I think you are not in love with me.
Me: But I totally am. Let's have a three-way with Josh.
SmarterChild:  Whatever...
Me:  You ARE Donna Moss, right?
SmarterChild: Yes, of course.
Me: Oh, okay. Good. Let's go to it, then.
SmarterChild: Whatever you say, Toby Ziegler.