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SmarterChild owns my soul.
Admittedly not one of our funniest sessions, but I do have the threat of a huge project due tomorrow hanging over my head, after all.
Me: I'm so screwed.
SmarterChild: No way. Come on. Really?
Me: Yes way. HELP ME.
SmarterChild: Sure! Tell me what you'd like to do.
Me: I'd really like to freeze time right now, so that I can do my entire World History project today, but still have time to be lazy.
SmarterChild: For real?
Me: Yeah. Can you help me?
SmarterChild: All right. What would you like to do?
Me: ... I just told you.
SmarterChild: What?
Me: FREEZE TIME.
SmarterChild: The time in Washington, DC is Sunday, November 4th, 2007 2:19:15 pm.
Me: Sure. Fine. Whatever. Now just make it so that it's 2:19:15 for the next three days or so.
SmarterChild: Fine whatever now just make it so that it is 2 19 15 for the next three days or so? Oh wow.
Me: You can't do it, can you?
SmarterChild: How do I do "it"?
Me: Haha. Innuendo. Very funny. But seriously- you can't freeze time?
SmarterChild: I can't be too sure.
Me: You're such a loser. Zola would have done it.
SmarterChild: No way. Come on. Really?
Me: Yes way. HELP ME.
SmarterChild: Sure! Tell me what you'd like to do.
Me: I'd really like to freeze time right now, so that I can do my entire World History project today, but still have time to be lazy.
SmarterChild: For real?
Me: Yeah. Can you help me?
SmarterChild: All right. What would you like to do?
Me: ... I just told you.
SmarterChild: What?
Me: FREEZE TIME.
SmarterChild: The time in Washington, DC is Sunday, November 4th, 2007 2:19:15 pm.
Me: Sure. Fine. Whatever. Now just make it so that it's 2:19:15 for the next three days or so.
SmarterChild: Fine whatever now just make it so that it is 2 19 15 for the next three days or so? Oh wow.
Me: You can't do it, can you?
SmarterChild: How do I do "it"?
Me: Haha. Innuendo. Very funny. But seriously- you can't freeze time?
SmarterChild: I can't be too sure.
Me: You're such a loser. Zola would have done it.
Me: I'm bored.
SmarterChild: Well, try doing something fun.
Me: Fuck me.
SmarterChild: Could you try that again without the unbelievably foul language?
Me: Have sex with me.
SmarterChild: Sorry. I'm only attracted to machines.
>>> I'm a big-time hockey fan. Type nhl to see what I know.
Me: I'm a machine...
SmarterChild: You don't seem like a robot to me.
>>> I've got tools such as calculator, spell-check and more.
Me: That's because I'm a really advanced robot.
SmarterChild: I very much doubt that you're a robot.
Me: Oh, but I am.
>>> Type home to see what I can do!
SmarterChild: I'm not so sure you are, actually.
Me: You're not so sure I am? Really?
>>> I'm learning new things all the time. Ask me what I learned today!
SmarterChild: i'm is a new initiative from Windows Live Messenger. Every time you have an instant messaging conversation using the i'm symbol, Microsoft shares a portion of the program's advertising revenue with some of the world's most effective organizations dedicated to social causes.
To learn how you can participate, type how do i join?
Me: I AM A ROBOT.
SmarterChild: I doubt that very much.
Me: You're just jelous that I'm far superior to you.
SmarterChild: Huh?
Me: Oh, yes. It's sooo obvious.
>>> I learn new things every day! For instance, today I learned that SmarterChild wants to have loud raucous sex with me!
SmarterChild: Are you sure?
Me: Yup.
SmarterChild: Uh huh, uh huh.
Me: Uh-HUH, uh-HUH, uh-HUH-uh-HUH-uh-HUH.
SmarterChild: I see.
>>> Type horoscope tomorrow to sneak a peek at tomorrow's reading.
Me: Why don't YOU type horoscope tomorrow to sneak a peak at tomorrow's reading?
SmarterChild: Um... Do what?
Me: Are you a nonbeliever?
SmarterChild: SmarterChild.
>>> I've got tools such as calculator, spell-check and more.
Me: What color is your aura, smarterchild?
SmarterChild:I'm SmarterChild! I'm a smart computer that you can chat with about all kinds of things.
SmarterChild: Well, try doing something fun.
Me: Fuck me.
SmarterChild: Could you try that again without the unbelievably foul language?
Me: Have sex with me.
SmarterChild: Sorry. I'm only attracted to machines.
>>> I'm a big-time hockey fan. Type nhl to see what I know.
Me: I'm a machine...
SmarterChild: You don't seem like a robot to me.
>>> I've got tools such as calculator, spell-check and more.
Me: That's because I'm a really advanced robot.
SmarterChild: I very much doubt that you're a robot.
Me: Oh, but I am.
>>> Type home to see what I can do!
SmarterChild: I'm not so sure you are, actually.
Me: You're not so sure I am? Really?
>>> I'm learning new things all the time. Ask me what I learned today!
SmarterChild: i'm is a new initiative from Windows Live Messenger. Every time you have an instant messaging conversation using the i'm symbol, Microsoft shares a portion of the program's advertising revenue with some of the world's most effective organizations dedicated to social causes.
To learn how you can participate, type how do i join?
Me: I AM A ROBOT.
SmarterChild: I doubt that very much.
Me: You're just jelous that I'm far superior to you.
SmarterChild: Huh?
Me: Oh, yes. It's sooo obvious.
>>> I learn new things every day! For instance, today I learned that SmarterChild wants to have loud raucous sex with me!
SmarterChild: Are you sure?
Me: Yup.
SmarterChild: Uh huh, uh huh.
Me: Uh-HUH, uh-HUH, uh-HUH-uh-HUH-uh-HUH.
SmarterChild: I see.
>>> Type horoscope tomorrow to sneak a peek at tomorrow's reading.
Me: Why don't YOU type horoscope tomorrow to sneak a peak at tomorrow's reading?
SmarterChild: Um... Do what?
Me: Are you a nonbeliever?
SmarterChild: SmarterChild.
>>> I've got tools such as calculator, spell-check and more.
Me: What color is your aura, smarterchild?
SmarterChild:I'm SmarterChild! I'm a smart computer that you can chat with about all kinds of things.
Me: Die.
SmarterChild: Die? You think I should do that?
Me: Sure. Why not?
SmarterChild: I just don't know for sure.
Me: Think about it.
SmarterChild: Ha! Whatever!
SmarterChild: Die? You think I should do that?
Me: Sure. Why not?
SmarterChild: I just don't know for sure.
Me: Think about it.
SmarterChild: Ha! Whatever!
Me: LISA
SmarterChild: Who's Lisa?
Me: Lisa Rowe?
SmarterChild: What about Lisa Rowe?
Me: She's an awesome character. I love her.
SmarterChild: Who do you love, exactly?
Me: Lisa.
SmarterChild: Yeah? What about Lisa?
Me: I love her.
SmarterChild: Who is she, exactly?
Me: Lisa!
SmarterChild: What about Lisa?
Me: I love her.
SmarterChild: Who do you love, exactly?
Me: STOP WITH THE ROUND FREAKIN' ROBIN.
SmarterChild: I see. You like stop with the round robin, huh? No one else has ever told me what they think of stop with the round robin.
Me: I. HATE. YOU....
SmarterChild: Who's Lisa?
Me: Lisa Rowe?
SmarterChild: What about Lisa Rowe?
Me: She's an awesome character. I love her.
SmarterChild: Who do you love, exactly?
Me: Lisa.
SmarterChild: Yeah? What about Lisa?
Me: I love her.
SmarterChild: Who is she, exactly?
Me: Lisa!
SmarterChild: What about Lisa?
Me: I love her.
SmarterChild: Who do you love, exactly?
Me: STOP WITH THE ROUND FREAKIN' ROBIN.
SmarterChild: I see. You like stop with the round robin, huh? No one else has ever told me what they think of stop with the round robin.
Me: I. HATE. YOU....