corknut: (Default)
✿ ([personal profile] corknut) wrote2006-08-10 11:46 am

Because limes have feelings, too.

Okay, you know what's weird? Newman's Own Limeade. I mean, Limeade is good and all (better than lemonade, anyway... any fruit that sour should NOT have such a sweet -ade made from it), but the little story they've added on the carton is just WIERD.

My mother said I would end up a limp lime like the rest of the family- a "bottle" baby just mixed with vodka and nothing better in sight, Green with envy, lookin' at all t hose virgin yellow lemons going into Newman's Own Virgin Lemonade and straight from there to something good like charity. 
Even a lime never been squeezed before is still green, but I squeezed myself next to ol' PL Newmanure while he was snoozin' and whispered in his ear, "It's the environment dummy!" He woke, took a breath and shouted, "Let's hear it for The Green Pary Candidate!" - so we moves straight into the lime light which is why all my relatives is now in The Limeade Business." 
(And yes, I did bring the limeade carton upstairs to type that, in case you're wondering.)

I wonder if this little lime knows that only 15% of his precious juice is actually going into that carton. 
And seriously, if you look real close and squint, the whole thing is just a metaphor for sex, anyway. ("virgin yellow lemons"? "A lime never been squeezed before is still green"? Come on!)

 


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