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Carpe Diem.
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I think about the future quite a bit, but what I really think affects my ability to live in the moment is the past. If something good happens, and then it ends, I spend too much time looking back on it nostalgically. If something bad happens, I spend too much time thinking about how I could have done things differently, and ~*what might have been*~. I don't think either of those things are necessarily bad, and I wouldn't say they quite keep me from enjoying the present, but sometimes I worry that it could start happening pretty easily. Case in point: high school versus college. There are good things about both, but sometimes I think the fact that I freaking loved high school and had such a good time there is kind of ruining me for my ~*college experience*~. One of the main things I loved about high school was the small-school atmosphere, and that's distinctly absent in a big state school like the one I go to. If I could get myself to stop internally thinking, "ugh, college classes aren't as funnnnnn because I don't knowwwww anybodyyyyyyy high school was so much betterrrrrr", it'd probably be a lot easier to motivate myself to meet people in my dorm(s), as opposed to in the actual classes like I'm used to. Basically, it's a clash between what I'm used to and what I'm not used to. All in all, I need to get better at dealing with the present and "living in the moment" if I want to make the most of my life-- now, and in the future.
I think about the future quite a bit, but what I really think affects my ability to live in the moment is the past. If something good happens, and then it ends, I spend too much time looking back on it nostalgically. If something bad happens, I spend too much time thinking about how I could have done things differently, and ~*what might have been*~. I don't think either of those things are necessarily bad, and I wouldn't say they quite keep me from enjoying the present, but sometimes I worry that it could start happening pretty easily. Case in point: high school versus college. There are good things about both, but sometimes I think the fact that I freaking loved high school and had such a good time there is kind of ruining me for my ~*college experience*~. One of the main things I loved about high school was the small-school atmosphere, and that's distinctly absent in a big state school like the one I go to. If I could get myself to stop internally thinking, "ugh, college classes aren't as funnnnnn because I don't knowwwww anybodyyyyyyy high school was so much betterrrrrr", it'd probably be a lot easier to motivate myself to meet people in my dorm(s), as opposed to in the actual classes like I'm used to. Basically, it's a clash between what I'm used to and what I'm not used to. All in all, I need to get better at dealing with the present and "living in the moment" if I want to make the most of my life-- now, and in the future.
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What do I want? Because if I make a 'mistake' this time, I won't be so young and it won't be so easy to switch again. I feel like I have to get it right, and I'm petrified I won't, so I keep staying in this stay-at-home housewife limbo (which I honestly appreciate for itself, and feel thankful to be able to do, but it isn't exactly what I want).
Er. This got rambling.
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Good luck!
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