Things My Teachers Would Never Say: The Ninth Grade Edition.

[corknut]

Once more, with feeling! 

Miss Johns
"Everybody, just SHUT UP! I'm sick to DEATH of your wise-ass remarks, your attitudes, and your failing grades! Stop talking while I'm talking! Everybody just SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP!"
"You can swear in my class any time you like." 

Mrs. Morgan
(anything not in a quiet monotone)

SPECIAL BONUS!- Miss Bavier
"F."

Madame
"Sorry, I can't understand you. You'll have to speak English." 
"Let's watch the Jordy music video again!" 

Mrs. McPhee
"I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to fail you because you're so unathletic." 

Mr. Morin
"I'm serious." 

Mr. Maynard
"You're right, I kind of do favor boys over girls, and I'm sorry." 

Mr. Q
"Condoms are for the faint of heart."

Mrs. McGlinchey
"I love my EF period Physical Science class." 
"Leslie, go down to the office. Now."
"Cell-see-us."
"Hey everybody, I just noticed that you're cheating on this test! Put those study sheets away!"
"Girls, stop causing so much trouble. Honestly, why can't you be nice and quiet like the boys?"
"Cutesy names for projects and labs are so childish and annoying."
"Kill SpongeBob."

Mr. Zottoli
"Oh come on, it's not that hot in here."
"I love bombs." 
"You know, I hate that portfolio project, too."
"Oh, come on, you guys- the Latin America project wasn't that bad."

Mr. LaForce
"Flutes, you were a little flat in that last section, but close enough." 
"I'm going to throw out all my History of Jazz DVDs. They're starting to bug me, too."